Hey, when’s International Men’s Day, huh? When do men get to parade around the street in celebration of their storied heritage? Just men, coming together, jingling tube socks full of quarters symbolizing the blood and tears that went into preserving the gender wage gap.
IT’S REVERSE SEXISM IS WHAT IT IS.
Speaking of sexists:
Here are two more misogynists working to reverse all the lady-progress that Taylor Swift has fought so hard for.
{In Bed With Joan Episode 1: Sarah Silverman}
It should be noted that these are just my deal breakers and are probably not universal deal breakers, though they should be. It should also be noted that I do not have a boyfriend.
Consider this a sequel or companion piece to my recent post “I Want to Save the Reality Stars.”
Dear Lindsay,
Your addiction has affected me in the following ways:
I have stood by you for the last 5-7 years. Through your ups and downs I have defended you, and I feel like I have been made a fool. I have trusted you, and you have betrayed me.
You have stolen from me, and I’m sure you used that cash to go party. Did you know that I saw I Know Who Killed Me on opening day at 11am? I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you who robbed me of my $7, and I deluded myself into thinking that the movie would one day catch on and become a cult hit… But I know… deep down… that the symbolism was much too heavy-handed and you did not, in fact, know who killed you.
I gave you another chance with Georgia Rule, and again you let me down. I tried to push you away and didn’t see Labor Pains, but I never stopped caring.
When you went to rehab and jail and rehab and jail, every time I was so hopeful that this time you would let out the inner Robert Downey Jr. that I knew was there, and make your own Iron Man. Everything would be okay again.
But then I saw this picture of you.
Lindsay, what am I supposed to think with those teeth? That is meth mouth and don’t try to convince me otherwise! And now you’re going to be posing full frontal in Playboy? If you don’t care about what I think, fine. But what about Tina?
Tina Fey gave you your career. She gave you the only legitimately good movie you’ve ever made since Parent Trap. I’m sure she’s already washed her hands of you, but how can you look at yourself and your janky teeth in the mirror every day knowing how you disapointed her?
This is so hard for me to say, Lindsay, but I just can’t do it anymore. For my own sake, I have to stop ennabling you. Just know that if you truly make a change and get help, I will be there waiting for you with open arms, and I pray that you can help yourself before you die or all your teeth fall out.
Know that it is never too late to make a change. And you look much better as a red head.
Sincerely,
Dara
Because I am a disciple of the Church of Oprah, I think it’s important to remember what you’re grateful for besides just the obvious (being alive, your health, not being homeless…stuff you’re going to take for granted no matter what). So, in an effort to be grateful for the simple things in life, here’s a list of things I’m grateful for today.
LEAN POCKETS! I’ve never had a pocket- whether it be lean or hot- ever before, and though I’m grateful that I’ve found it, it’s hard to accept that the ham and cheese whole wheat one just entered my life. I feel like we’ve missed out on a lot of memories together.
Alex McCord is now following me on twitter. Now we can mean tweet Kelly together. Though, I’d be 100% more grateful if Caroline or Dina Manzo were following me. Or any of the Manzos/Lauritas.
Pretty window box flowers. It allows me to see some nature close up without ever having to leave my hermit’s nest of a home.
My extra large coffee mug I got for graduation (since graduating everything my mother gives me has an inspirational quote about pursuing my dreams on it). I like this mug because it’s cozy and because Oprah once told Tina Fey she knew she’d like her because she had big mugs. So this makes me twofold grateful for this mug: 1. I always knew Oprah would like me, and I have the big mugs to prove it (plus they have an inspirational quote on it so she’d like me extra), and 2. I’m obviously exactly like Tina Fey since having big mugs says a lot about you as a person.
I’m so grateful I remembered that I have a teeny tiny top hat in my possession and two teeny tiny dogs that fit into it, making it look like a full-sized top hat.
This tweet from Mindy Kaling (of ‘The Office’) sums up my manic excitement for Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants, which just came out last Tuesday.
I didn’t actually read the whole thing in one night. That’s like making a bagel and cream cheese sandwich and eating both halves at once. I read the book over the course of 4 or 5 days, and when I got to the last chapter I was just as sad as I get when I know that soon I’ll be finished my bagel.
I’m not going to bother reviewing this book. Obviously, it was the best book ever written.
So since Bossypants is my new Twilight, this book will be my new Harry Potter:
Mindy Kaling’s book of essays comes out November 1st, 2011. And I promise you it will be better than everything ever written by Chelsea Handler.
Welcome to my blog, Brunch For Every Meal! If you’re reading this, you’re probably either someone who had nothing better to do than to click on one of the many links I incessantly post on Facebook or you are my mom.
If you’re confused as to what this blog might be about, well it’s hard to describe. I can tell you, though, that if you really like brunch, you will probably enjoy half-reading this blog while you watch The Millionaire Matchmaker. I know this because if you appreciate brunch and believe in its ideals of unapologetic fancy-shmancy-ness, the right to order pancakes even if you don’t get out of bed til noon, and judgement-free drinking of champagne before 3pm… then you might like the blog written by someone who also believes in those things.
I’ll be writing about fun things that brunch-y people enjoy such as food, fashion, interior decorating, cooking, entertaining, etc.
So, let’s say that this:
and this:
and these women:
had a child and then let me adopt it… it would be this blog. Theme-wise, I mean. I’m not saying this blog could ever reach the level of awesome that the baby of pancakes, fashion, and Tina Fey would be at. I’m just someone who loves brunch, I’m not God.
