I would even accept getting secretly taped on an episode of WWYD?. So, if you ever see me in a restaurant launching into a liberal diatribe because I overheard someone making fun of a gay teen, know that I’m doing it because I’m both a good person and hoping that John Quiñones will emerge from the kitchen with a camera crew.
What would Connie Britton do? Oh, I don’t know… maybe decide to age gracefully instead of using botox which would prevent her from displaying a full spectrum of emotions on her face while she performs in the hit TV musical drama, Nashville. Because she is a professional. ACTOR. Oh yeah, I bet she calls herself an actor because you don’t call a female doctor a “doctress,” do you?
What would Connie Britton do? I don’t know, what would a mermaid haired, one-woman army do?
******CLEAR EYES, FULL HEARTS, CAN’T LOSE*******
For years I have successfully kept my mom off of Facebook, but a few months ago the day finally came when she arrived home from work with a profile already set up. I refused her friend request for a while –not because I have anything to hide– girl has already seen me a bottle of wine deep, crying while I watch Top Chef. I don’t do anything more interesting than that. I hesitated friending her because Mama loves herself a good forwarded email, so I knew my wall would end up littered with some hardcore inspirationz and affirmationz.
After a run-in with an unlimited mimosas brunch (Brunch! Brunch! Take a shot!) on Mother’s Day, my heart was bursting with mommy-love so I accepted her friend request. Since then, her positivity and clip art have been all over my wall:
I think the best part about these is that anyone who happens to pay attention to her posts would start to get the impression that I am teetering on the brink of spending my afternoon swinging from a shower rod, but I assure you nothing can be that bad if your mother is still posting Cher quotes on your Facebook.