Wine and Whine Podcast, Ep 6: Middle School

On today’s episode of Wine and Whine, Kathryn and I drink Portes de Bordeaux Sauvignon Blanc and talk about our experiences in middle school!

This is Kathryn (right) who attended a private school in Los Angeles.

middle school kathAnd this is Dara, who lived out her ugly stage against the backdrop of a New Hampshire public school.

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Will these two gals have any similar adolescent experiences?

You bet!

Juicy couture!

Punk phases!

Being tortured by heartless 13 year olds!

and much, much more!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN! 

And follow us on Twitter: @wineandwhinepod @KathrynG and @Daralaine

or on Instagram @wineandwhinepodcast

New episodes every Wednesday!

Oscar Best Picture Challenge: “American Hustle”

Last year during Oscar season, the only nominated picture I saw was Argo. Though it was fun making Oscar predictions based on an affinity for an actor’s hair color or previous movies that they’ve made, I’ve decided to challenge myself and see each Best Picture nominee before the winners are announced, then give you a little review!

So, luckily, I had already seen one of the movies during Christmas, American Hustle. Even luckier, I did not sneak wine into the theater on this one occasion, so I can recall the beginning, middle, and end to an extent. Here is my review:

american-hustle-poster-636-380Great breasts, both male and female, throughout the film, from all parties. Special mention to Amy’s side and middle breasts. Hair. The other half of that guy’s face from Boardwalk Empire. I could have done without the entire first hour of the movie. Louie CK can just play himself in every movie if he wants, I’m fine with it. Jennifer Lawrence, who? Amy Adams is the unsung hero in my book, do you remember that she was in Drop Dead Gorgeous? Carmine’s wife was pretty legit. Nail polish. Am I the only one who is afraid of David O’Russell based on the stories the actors tell about him on late night shows? The 60’s, who? The 70’s is the unsung hero of all the decades in my book. Disco and perms and whatnot? That was the point of the film, correct?

Overall, the American Hustle was nice to look at, especially the breasts belonging to all parties, male and female.

Agree? Disagree? (Only tell me if you agree, this is my blog, don’t be rude).

Peter Pan Proposal Video

Normally, I am not impressed by viral Youtube proposal videos. It just seems a little narcissistic to me. Yes, the proposer has put time and effort into making this grand gesture, but is it all about creating a romantic experience for your partner or about making it to the homepage of Buzzfeed?

I don’t know how I want to be proposed to, but I do know it would not involve the following:

  • Engagement rings tied to dog collars.
  • Flashmobs
  • Howie Mandel pranking me.
  • Singing of any kind.
  • Anything pertaining to high altitude including, but not limited to: hot air balloons, sky writing, or Denver.
  • Sporting events, with the exception of Michael Vartan proposing on a pitcher’s mound at a high school baseball playoff game.
  • Rings hidden in food or beverages.
  • Any sort of public place that puts us at risk of being applauded.

I’m a simple girl who would be happy with just a sweeping declaration of how amazing I am, set in a whimsical location probably equipped with some sort of outdoor lighting, ie: twinkle lights, lanterns, etc. The scene where Freddie Prinze Jr. professes his love for Rachel Leah Cook by the pool in She’s All That comes to mind. (A Never Been Kissed andShe’s All That reference in one post?! Someone call Alicia Keys because this girl is on fire!!!)

With all that said, this Peter Pan proposal video is the weirdest, most entertaining thing I’ve seen in the last 7 hours which means a lot because I spend Monday through Friday looking at all of the internet until nothing is left. Watch it and then see if you agree with my highlights:

  • Giant dog pulling focus.
  • Is this a steampunk rendition of Peter Pan where they sing “You Raise Me Up” at curtain call?
  • If this is how loud Jane cries when she’s being proposed to, how loud will she cry when her youngest child leaves home for good or when she watches her elderly mother descend into senility?

Ah, love! Ain’t it grand?

 

Wine and Whine, Ep. 5: Kathryn Gallagher

Well, we had to take a week off from W&W, but now we’re back with a little shake up:

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Dara is now joined by new co-host, Kathryn Gallagher!

Why did Gabi leave?

Is Dara impossible to work with?

Was she sent to live on a farm full of other podcasters she could play with?

Did Gabi decide to take a crack at a second career and is now too busy taking night classes in mortuary sciences at the local community college?

You’ll have to listen to find out!

Meanwhile, WINE: Friexenet cava WHINE: Kathryn Gallagher

Tweet us at @wineandwhinepod, @kathryng, and @daralaine and tell us what you think of Wine and Whine 2.0 (#WW2).

Wine and Whine: Episode 4- Our Moms

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Today is a very special Home for the Holidays Spectacular episode where from Westport, CT Gabi interviews her mother, Jules, while a few states over in NH, Dara talks to her mother, Lynne.

Twitter: @Wineandwhinepod

Instagram: @wineandwhinepodcast

Gabi’s Twitter: @GMConti

Dara’s Twitter: @daralaine

And look out for us soon on iTunes! Like around the time Dara decides to sit down and figure out how to upload something to iTunes.

Wine and Whine, Episode 3: Gaby Dunn

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On today’s episode of Wine and WhineGabi and Dara drink 2 bottles of a very pricy $7 Kono Sauvignon Blanc while they whine with special guest, Gaby Dunn.

gdunnGaby is a writer and comedian, and you might’ve seen her work in the New York Times Magazine, Thought Catalogue, and Cosmopolitain or maybe you know her as the woman defending the females of Los Angeles against evil cat-callers and would-be date rapists.

We’ve been longtime fans of Gaby’s Tumblr and Twitter, but officially decided to trick her into being our friend by luring her to Dara’s apartment with free wine and pizza after seeing her in the Youtube mini-documentary, I Didn’t Come To This Open Mic To Fuck You. 

The official whine was “Women in Comedy” (Sponsored by Playtex) but we talk about everything from Gaby’s relationship with porn star (not ghost) James Deen to the perks of being bisexual to why feminism is for everyone and how we can dismantle the patriar–wait! Don’t leave!

This episode was so fun to record and we think you’ll enjoy it! Listen to it in the airport on your way home for the holiday’s and maybe you’ll be inspired by Gaby like we were to make 2014 “The Year of Enthusiasm!”

Follow Gaby with a “Y” on Twitter @gabydunn or on Tumblr at gabydunn.com

Follow Gabi with an “I” on Twitter @GMConti or check out her other work at hellogiggles.com

Follow Dara with a “D-A-R-A” on Twitter @daralaine or read her blog brunchforeverymeal.com

AND FINALLY:

Instagram: @wineandwhinepodcast

Twitter: @wineandwhinepod

10 Karaoke Songs and What They Say About You

Back in college, I used to emcee at a karaoke bar. Though I only worked there for a month, I experienced more in that month than most 20 year-old’s should experience in like, two months. During that time, I picked up some lessons along the way, including:

1. If at your job, the new, older security guard who looks like Channing Tatum asks you out upon meeting you, it really is too good to be true. It’s possible that he might smile and you’ll realize he has a missing tooth or maybe he’ll end up getting fired on his first day for calling your manager a bitch. Or both! Yes, surely both.

2. Just because one of your managers has a newborn and says he’s sickened by the men who harass you while you’re trying to work, doesn’t mean he won’t tell you that he thinks he never should have gotten married, and you’re the only one he’s told, and you’re so mature, and do you want to get a drink after work?

And lastly,

3. Everyone sings the same handful of songs.

So, using all of my professional expertise, here are the 10 Karaoke Songs Everyone Sings and What They Say About You:

Shoop by Salt-N-Peppa or Man, I Feel Like a Woman by Shania Twain:

2CD Shania TWAIN - up (zafoliowana)You have a delightful sense of humor and are something of a feminist, interested in uniting the women of the bar, if only for 3 minutes. While we all drunkenly shout through the chorus as one, we are singing for our oppressed sisters around the world who do not have the freedom to hold a GirlZ Night for themselves.

All These Things That I’ve Done by The Killers: You’re a boy in your mid-twenties who has been forced to go to karaoke night for your girlfriend’s best friend’s birthday party. I will hand it to you though, everyone gets hyped for the “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” part.

Fool in the Rain by Led Zeppelin: You’re a man in your mid-forties who has been forced to go to karaoke night for your wife’s best friend’s birthday party. It’s a night out of the suburbs where every wife gets a Moscato and every husband gets a Jack and Coke!

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston: You have no self-awareness.

Take Me or Leave Me from “RENT”:

cd-rentYou are a former or current musical theatre kid who will go up and sing no less than 3 times in one night, use all the vibrato you can muster, and then sit in a booth in the back while you complain about how sad it is that any person singing who isn’t you thinks they’re doing really well.

Don’t Stop Believing by Journey or Santeria by Sublime: You have no creativity or imagination.

American Pie by Don McLean or Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin:

led-zeppelin-stairway-to-heaven-albumYou have narcissistic personality disorder and have no regard for other people’s feelings or happiness. I always had the courage to save a room from a 10 minute Led Zeppelin hostage situation and pull the plug on the mic after a verse and a chorus, but not every karaoke emcee is as protective over their audience.

So, based on your favorite karaoke song, what kind of person are you? Honestly, I don’t care as long as you don’t sing Hallelujah. 

Freshly Pressed

Yesterday, one of my blog posts, Am I an Adult? was featured on WordPress.com’s “Freshly Pressed” page. Since it has brought me a bunch of new followers over night, I thought I should reintroduce myself. I know you could just scroll back and read some old posts, but I never give up an opportunity to coerce strangers into following me on Twitter.

So me. Here are the most important bullet points to get you up to speed:

  • I moved to LA from New Hampshire about 9 months ago to become a comedic actress/writer.
  • If I wasn’t a comedian I’d be a Special Victims Unit criminal psychologist, B.D. Wong-style. Screen shot 2011-01-20 at 9.22.44 PM
  • My 3 favorite things are Connie Britton, inter species friendships, and that thing on TV shows where wayward children call their foster parents “Mom” and “Dad” for the first time.
  • If you think Amanda Knox did it then you can let yourself out.
  • Related: “Foxy Knoxy’s The Mandy Project” is the most clever thing I’ve ever come up with.

Alright, I think that covers it.

Next, follow me on everything:

Twitter: @daralaine

Instagram: @daralaine

Tumblr: brunchforeverymeal

Facebook: brunchforeverymeal 

Youtube: daralaine

My Podcast: Wine and Whine 

Here’s another post of mine that was Freshly Pressed a little over a year ago, 3 Reasons Why Being Single is (Probably) Better than Dating a Serial Killer. 

Okay, cool. That’s it. Thanks for following!

Wine and Whine: Episode 2, Mistress Mina

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On our second episode of Wine and Whine we have our first guest, professional dominatrix and independent woman doing it for herself, Mistress Mina.

While we sip our wine (Cocobon and Trader Joe’s Coastal Zinfindel…we get two bottles when we have a guest) we’re going to learn about our whine, BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism), and what it really means to be a professional dominatrix.

Warning: the sound is a little iffy this episode compared to last week’s because we had to fire Producer Dave for growing a goatee. Now we’re two independent women doing a podcast for themselves. Next week should be better, as we have learned we can’t scream into microphones.

So, please, sit back, pour yourself a glass of wine and learn about the world of sissy play, dungeons, and whips. Unless you are listening to this on your morning commute, in which case please don’t drink because we can’t be liable for anyone’s DUI’s but our own.

Wine and Whine Podcast

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A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was starting a podcast, and now the first episode is ready for your ears!

In our pilot we drink Babble wine and whine about online dating.When the wine’s finished so is the podcast!

Here’s what people are saying about it:

“Cute!” – our moms

“Longer than Schindler’s List.” – Producer Dave

“Please listen because making a podcast is more difficult than you’d think it’d be.” – Me

Follow us on twitter!

@WineandWhinePodcast

@DaraLaine

@GMConti

and theme song by Kathryn Gallagher @KathrynG

Click here to listen!