Guuuuys, I’m siiiiiick.
But not too sick to show you a video about Drag Queens, Wilson Philips, and Chick-Fil-A:
Loooook William from Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Willliaaaaammmm.
Here’s some funny business made by funny ladies:
I haven’t even read any of the Hunger Games books, but if I had I’d probably think this was even funnier. This is Holly Laurent- she was on the Second City mainstage while I was studying there my senior year fall semester. I saw her in the Second City bathroom once and I gushed at her for a minute so obviously, I think I know her.
This is Julie Klausner. I hope to be like her one day, although I don’t think my hair could ever get the kind of volume she achieves like it’s no big deal. Her podcast, How Was Your Week? is my new thing, and you should check it out on itunes. Julie writes the most artful and brilliant Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps. I plan on reading her book “I Don’t Care About Your Band” the second I finish my Hillary Clinton memoir (you know how I do).
The fictional twitter of Debra Messing’s character in SMASH!…. this isn’t meant to be funny… but gosh it is.
I wish I was the kind of person who….
.……..had monogrammed stationery. I feel like there’s no greater mark of an adult who has it together than sending out monogrammed thank you notes for a lovely job interview or lunch date.
………could say to someone, “Just promise you won’t fall in love with me.” If you say this to someone, you better be sure that you can back it up with them falling in love with you. This is like, a sleeper statement… the real impact occurs after a period of dormancy. When you first say something like that, I don’t think your victim has any other choice but to think you’re a lunatic. But then if they do fall in love with you, the payoff is just that much more theatrical. If the kind of person who says this is real and doesn’t live in a movie, my hat’s off to you. I just could not be so bold.
……….who liked cats. Though I have my preconceived judgements about cat people (don’t be mad, I know how much bloggers love cats), I still wish I, at the very least, wasn’t afraid of cats. When I move out of my ‘rents, it would be nice to have a pet, but I couldn’t have a dog because there would be no one to take her out all day. Since cats are so self sufficient (ie. if you died it could live off eating your dead body and peeing in the tub for months… [your dog would either find help or starve and then die nobly cuddled by your side on the kitchen floor]) they are the perfect pet for a single, busy person. I just don’t enjoy them. I think a big cat scratched the hell out of me when I was a toddler, so I’ve been scared ever since. Or, this memory of being attacked by a cat was something I dreamed as a child…. regardless, the trauma is still very real to me.
I think I could accomplish the first one. And you know what they sing, “now, don’t be sad, ’cause 1 out of 3 is perfectly adequate.”
This is Tommy. He’s a ‘singer, celebrities, and bloggers’ from Norway, and he has something to say to American comedians. Apparently, there is a severe butter shortage in Norway, and some of our own comics are making jokes about the Norwegian’s misfortune.
Tommy, let me be the first comedian* to apologize to you. Though I’ve never been paid to do comedy, so I’m technically not professional, and can really only call myself a comedian because I think it in my head… I must speak for everyone and say how sorry I am for how insensitive the US has been.
Our Norwegian friend makes a great point in this video. We make light of the Norwegians’ situation, but Americans are, as he says, very fat. I’m not looking to make anyone feel bad or anything, but these are just facts. We would really miss butter if suddenly it wasn’t available. I’m not fat (I’m not trying to brag or anything, but medically and stuff… I’m not fat) but I love to use bread as a vehicle to transport butter into my face-hole. I would feel a great void if it were gone.
Besides just bread and butter, think of how many recipes call for butter. Norway’s traditional Christmas cake is a butter cake. What are they supposed to do now?! And vegans, don’t you dare tell me they should use some vegan butter substitue. Get out of here, vegans! Get out!
Look, America. Have you ever seen pain like that? Tommy and his country are hurting. Don’t make fun of them. It’s just not right.
If you do make fun of Norway, I hope Tommy goes to your house and eats all your butter while your family watches. Then goes to your neighbor’s house and eats their butter. You totally deserve it.
Although, I will say, it’s kind of easy to make butter. Like, you can just buy some cream and whip it with some salt…
Irrelevant. Tommy, thank you for your bravery in speaking out.
Check in tomorrow for a DIY holiday gift video that I’ll be posting.
In the meantime, subscribe to my blog for email updates or follow me on twitter!
One of my favorite twitter accounts is @shitgirlssay, which just tweets these short, unspecific things that girls say. It’s just really genius in its simplicity, and hilarious in a funny-cuz-it’s-true way.
Recently, the guy who writes this twitter came out with a webseries by the same name. The actor is Kyle Humphrey, and it was written/created with Kyle’s partner, Graydon Sheppard. It’s basically the most flawless example of a webseries I’ve ever seen. Watch it. You’re welcome.
Happy Friday, one and all. Share a bottle of wine with yourself tonight. You deserve it.
Stop by tomorrow (12/17) when I give you some great present ideas for people you don’t like enough to spend much money on.
Since it’s Funny Friday, here’s a video I made last year for a school project while I was doing the Second City college comedy program for the semester.
…Ummmmm…. hope you like it and stuff. If you don’t like it, I didn’t really try that hard on it or anything, it’s whatever.
[EDIT:] So, my mom reads my blog, and then critiques/proofreads it…like, days after I’ve posted it, and my mom would like me to delete the above comment because as she says “sometimes she doesn’t get my jokes,” and she didn’t know that was a joke. This leads me to believe that maybe other people don’t get that the above comment was sarcasm (not quite a joke), I did try hard. I’m not going to delete it, because I don’t feel like thinking of something to write in it’s place, so this is just a disclaimer. Okay, that’s enough.
Hey, guys. So, I have nothing to give right now. It’s 1pm as I write this, so, obviously, it’s my usual nap time. I can’t nap, though because I need to be able to go to bed early, and if I don’t get my nap I get cranky and don’t want to do anything, which I’m pretty sure everyone thinks is really adorable. Sooooo, here’s a lil something for your Funny Friday… the only thing I could muster with such profound sleep deprivation.
This is We Can Be Heroes written/starring Australian comedian, Chris Lilley who is probably my favorite male comedian. This show was made before Summer Heights High, but was never featured in America. If you like SHH you’ll like this, too.
Here’s another 7 Minutes in Heaven that just came out! It features Amy Poehler! Queen Amy! Probably my favorite one so far.
I just thought I’d do you a favor and show you these videos. Basically, I’m always just doing you a solid with Funny Friday and enriching your life with comedy. These are the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while!
Sorry this isn’t a longer post, but I gotta go to work and sell body butter to middle aged house wives BUH BYEEEE.
I’m a big fan of these two ladies, Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome. Together they are Garfunkel and Oates and sing funny songs. I wish I could make youtube videos like theirs but I still can’t play the ukulele and sing at the same time.
This song is one of my favorites, and the best part about it is if you look at the comments for it it’s a bunch of pregnant ladies saying “I’m pregnant, and I’m not smug, but this is sooooo funny!!” Okay, pregnant ladies, obviously you don’t know you’re acting smug. No one gets pregnant and says “I’m going to be so smug about carrying this fetus inside my uterus.” It just happens.
This is my dear, dear friend, Jamie Burns- she is a comedian like myself (and also a 22 year old red head, so she’s direct competition, and I’m going to kill her after I write this) and does the most spot on Drew Barrymore impression. We met at Second City and did this together:
I just hope one day the Smithers Sister will cut a Christmas album.